224 The One With Barry and Mindy's Wedding [Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there as Joey enters] RACHEL: Hey Joey, how'd the audition go? JOEY: Incredible! I met the director this time and you'll never believe who it was. ALL: Who? JOEY: All right. I'll give you one hint. Warren Beatty. ALL: Wow! JOEY: Yeah, there's just one thing that might be kind've a problem. See, I, uh, had to kiss this guy. CHANDLER: 'Cause he was just so darn cute. JOEY: No, as part of the audition. See, I'm up for this part of this guy, who the main guy kisses. ROSS: Well, hey. You're an actor, I say you just suck it up and do it. (Rachel looks at him in disbelief) Or you just do it. JOEY: I did do it, I'm a professional. MONICA: Then what's the problem? JOEY: See after the scene, Mr. Beatty comes up to me and says 'good actor, bad kisser'. Can you believe that, me not a good kisser, that's like, like Mother Theresa, not a good mother. PHOEBE: Well, come on, who cares what that guy thinks. What does Warren Beatty know about kissing (Chandler and Monica, give her a look that says 'think about it') Ooh. OPENING CREDITS [Scene: continued from earlier] CHANDLER: Hey, what did your agent say? JOEY: Yep, this kiss thing is defiantly a problem, Mr. Beatty wants to see it again on Monday. Man, I gotta figure out what I'm doing wrong. Oh, okay, one of you girls come over here and kiss me. MONICA: What, forget it! RACHEL: Yeah, right. JOEY: Come on, I need your help here. PHOEBE: All right. I'll do it, I kissed him before I can do it again. JOEY: You see this, this is a friend. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, let's go. (they move in to kiss) Oh, wait I have gum. Okay. (they kiss rather passionately) Good, very good, firm but tender. I'd recommend you to a friend. JOEY: Then I don't know what it is. What's the problem? MONICA: Joey, you know, maybe your just not used to kissing men, maybe you just tensed up a little, maybe that's what you need to work on. JOEY: Yeah, that makes sense. (looks at Ross) ROSS: Over my dead body! (Joey looks at Chandler) CHANDLER: And I'll be using his dead body as a shield. [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Monica, and Richard are there] ROSS: (entering from Rachel's bedroom) Come on out, honey! I'm telling you look good! (turns around, and under his breath, to the rest of the guys) Tell her she looks good, tell her she looks good. (Rachel enters in this hideous pink bride's maid dress, with a huge silver bow on 224 224 巴利和明蒂大喜之日巴利和明蒂大喜之日 嗨 乔伊, 试镜如何? 难以置信! 我这次碰到的导演,没想到会是他. 谁? 好吧. 给你个提示. Warren Beatty. / 哇! 是, 现在只有一个问题. 我必须和他接吻 因为他太英俊了 不, 是试镜的一部分. 我演和他接吻那部分. 嗨. 你是个演员, 你可以拍他马屁和接吻. 或者只接吻. 我当然行, 我很在行. 那还有什么问题? 拍完后, Beatty先生过来和我说 '演得好, 接吻很烂'. 你们相信我象是个接吻很差的人吗？ 就象特丽莎妈妈, 不是一个好妈妈. 算了，管他怎么想. Warren Beatty难道就知道怎么接吻. 嗨, 你的经纪人怎么说? 接吻这事很麻烦, Beatty先生星期一还有来一遍. 我得找出到底哪有问题. Oh, 对了, 你们那个女孩过来和我试一下. 什么, 休想! 对, 好主意. 来吧, 我需要你们帮忙. 好吧. 我来, 以前也吻过多一次也没关系 看, 这才够朋友. Uh-huh, 开始吧. 哦, 有口香糖. 好了. 好, 太好了, 结实而柔软. 我推荐给朋友们. 所以我就不知道有什么问题? 乔伊, 也许你不习惯吻男人, 也许你只是有点紧张, 也许就是这个问题. 对, 需要感觉. 除非我死了! 你还是用他的尸体吧. 快点, 亲爱的! 告诉你你已经很漂亮了! 告诉她很漂亮, 告诉她很漂亮. 哦 天啊, 你太漂亮了! 我不敢相信我会穿着这么恶心的东西 在200人面前走过
